Journey
by Love me and leave me
Summary: One man finds a way to survive after he loses what seems like everything in his life. 'Life As A House' one year after.
1. Chapter 1

He sat down under the porch overhang and ran his hands through his hair. _God, what a day,_ he thought to himself. He looked out over the ocean, watching the sun set. The colors merged softly in the distance, reflecting on the glistening water. It wasn't full of waves today; it seemed to be feeling calm at last. Just like him. His father's death seemed almost vague in his memory, a whole year ago now, but he missed him more than he cared to admit.

The deeds to the house had been transferred to Lydia earlier that day. It would be her house in a month. He sighed, and walked over to edge of the water. _I will always remember,_ he thought, looking out across the ocean, _I'll never forget. We built this house together._ He shook off the memory of his father, and strode back into the house. _I'm too young to deal with this kind of crap._ He sighed softly. Then the telephone rang.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, Sam."

"Hi, Mom," he replied.

"What's up?"

"I was about to make myself something to eat."

"Want to come eat here? We're having barbeque." He shifted the phone to between his neck and shoulder, and opened the fridge.

"Love to, but Alyssa is coming over."

"You could bring her, too!"

"Sorry, Ma. Not this time."

"Alright, bye Honey. Tell Alyssa I said hello."

"Ok, Ma." He turned off the phone and sat it back on the cradle. Alyssa wasn't coming for another few hours, but he needed some time to rest, anyway. He opened the fridge, took out the store-bought turkey breast, and stuffed it into the oven. Then he clicked the timer on, and laid down on the couch.

He awoke with the timer, as he had planned it. He walked into the kitchen, clicked off the oven and the timer, and removed the turkey. It was cooked rather well, at the very least, considering he had never had any experience with cooking until about ten months before. He had gone back and lived with his mother for a couple months after absorbing the shock of his father's death.

Sam lit two candles on the table and brought out the salad he had fixed earlier. He was adding the last few finishing touches when he heard the door open, then close. Then, smiling a bit to himself, he walked back into the kitchen for some glasses. He found himself wishing he was old enough to drink, for he was only seventeen, and time seemed to be dragging on insanely. He took a quick drink of water before pouring the cranberry juice and lemon-lime seltzer mix into the two wine glasses and bringing them to the table.

"Hey, you," Alyssa said sweetly. She was already sitting at her place on the table. He leaned down to kiss her, but she turned and he ended up pecking her on the cheek. He sighed.

"Remind me why again," he said slowly, with his eyes closed. She rolled hers.

"We can't get involved because we'd only end up breaking each other's hearts, and our feelings for each other aren't strong enough." He disagreed strongly with her every time she said it, but was wise enough to keep silent. He remembered every detail of their first kiss, up to the end when he had to clean her shower, and their final one, not to mention the others. There had only been four, before she decided that nothing but friendship should happen between them. He didn't protest all that much because he knew that he only wanted to make her happy, no matter what the cost.

"Right," he said for what seemed like the millionth time. "You look beautiful, by the way." To her own astonishment, she felt a tad of color creep into her face.

"It's just the normal me." _Get a grip, Alyssa,_ she told herself.

"I know." She just stared down at her plate. He broke the brief awkward silence by announcing, "Dinner is served," in his best fake French accent. She giggled, exactly the reaction he was hoping for.

He brought out the salad first, and she seemed to like it alright. It wasn't any big deal to her, just salad. She said those exact words, although she did say it wasn't bad. That was good at least. Then he brought out the turkey. Her reaction was more that he could have imagined. She closed her eyes and smiled.

"This is excellent," she said with a little laugh as she took another bite. "I believe you have inherited your mother's cooking skills." He smiled at that.

"Thank you very much. That's the best compliment I've received in a while," he said, taking a large mouthful of turkey. She looked at him happily, and took her last bite of turkey. It was good, she would give him that, but it wasn't quite as exceptional as she had made it look. She knew he needed a bit of happiness.

They chatted like the old friends that they were through the rest of dinner and into dessert. All he could think about was the jumble of feelings racing through his chest. The first time he had any physical contact with her, still in the dark stages, he had taken some of his father's pain killer. It was very strong. That was just a couple months before he died. Thank God that he was over the whole drug faze of his life.

_I love her,_ he thought to himself, still listening intently to every word escaping her lovely red lips. _I love her so much I'm sick with it._ He continued the happy conversation, and the smile he kept plastered on his face never wavered for a second.

After the meal, they retired to the sitting room and stared out over the ocean. Sam continued to wonder how she could look more beautiful every second. The soft candlelight illuminated the vibrant red highlights in her hair, and he wondered how it would feel to bury his face in it. He was shook back to reality when she began to talk again.

"Could I use you shower tomorrow?" she said with nonchalance.

"Depends on what time."

"Eight-ish?"

"I have to be to Lydia's at nine, so I'll either be just getting out of there then, or gone to her house."

"I don't care," she replied. "I'll just go when you're finished. I'll be here around seven, ok?"

"Whatever."

"Well, I better get home. It's kinda late."

"Ok, see you tomorrow."

"Alright," she said with a smile.

He leaned down to kiss her goodbye, but she didn't quite move in time. She tried to keep herself steeled against him, but when she opened her mouth to protest she was lost. She closed her eyes, and brought her hands up to bring his head closer to hers. He pulled back after what seemed like an eternity.

"Sam, that was just a kiss. I can't get involved with you. I'm still with Josh."

"How can you still be with him after all he's done to you?" Sam yelled angrily.

"I forgave him and forgot it a long time ago. I have a lot of feelings for Josh, it was much easier to forgive him than I expected."

"But I-" _I love you._ "I just want you to be happy," He said raising his hands in defeat. He had enough experience to know that it was perfectly useless to fight with Alyssa about Josh, so, like in this instance, he pretty much just gave up.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning," she said, then gave him a smile and a hug, before walking out of the room and through the front door.

He walked slowly towards his bedroom.

"Well, Guster, that could've gone better," he said to his golden retriever, patting him on the head.

He mentally added that kiss to his list. He knew that the few kisses he got from her would have to last him an eternity. He laid down on his bed, crossing his arms behind his head.

"God, if you're out there, please watch over Alyssa," he prayed, feeling tears well up behind his eyes. He had only cried once since his father had died, and it was only for a moment. He hated crying. It made him feel weak, but the tears were threatening to fall again. "And Dad, if you're listening, I'm sorry if I ever disappointed you and I miss you."

He sat up, pulled his knees up to his chest, and laid his head in his hands. They came away wet.


	2. Chapter 2

He sat alone at the breakfast table, just moving his spoon slowly around his cereal bowl. He ignored the stubble building on his chin and cheeks. He found himself staring down at his reflection in the milk; tousled hair, sunken cheeks and all.

"I wonder what crap is going to happen to me today?" Just then, Guster pulled Sam's toothbrush out of the bathroom and began to gnaw on it. "Great!" He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Just great."

He climbed slowly into the shower, letting the hot water flow over him; feeling himself relax from the anxiety that seemed to have taken hold of his life. He heard the bathroom door open, and shut.

"Hello, Sam."

"You're early," he said.

"Not that early. And I need to get in."

"Alyssa, I can't do this again. Not now."

"Relax," she said, beginning to strip off her clothing. "I'll just wash my hair, and I'll be out in a second."

He grabbed a towel, wrapped it around himself, and stormed out of the bathroom. _Doesn't she think she's hurt me enough?_

A bit later, he climbed into his truck. He sighed to himself before pulling out of the driveway and setting off down the street towards Lydia's trailer. _I won't think of Alyssa,_ he vowed to himself. But the image of her stripping off her clothing, and knowing what he could have done... _No! Sam, stop it._ He didn't want to think like that, he just couldn't. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and continued down the street.

He arrived at Lydia's house a few minutes later. Her sixteen-year-old daughter, Chelsea, and another girl were sitting in lawn chairs outside. As he pulled up, the girl that he didn't know burst into violent spurts of giggles. It made him smile. He climbed out of the truck onto the gravel and shut the door.

"Hi, Sam," Chelsea said with a small wave. "This is my friend, Gina."

"Hey, Chel." He turned toward the other girl. "Nice to meet you." He walked into the house.

"So this is the guy you've been in love with for six months now?" Gina said slowly, turning towards her friend.

"Yeah," she replied, blushing slightly.

"He's kinda cute." They both giggled. "And he seems sweet, too."

"He is," Chelsea said with a sigh. "He really is."

Sam could hear the girls behind him laughing again, but he paid them no heed.

"Hello, Sam," said Lydia in her singsong voice as she wheeled herself next to him. "Thanks for coming again."

"Always a pleasure to see you, Lydia."

"Same to you. Ah, you're such a young gentleman. Just like little Eric here." She patted her ten-year-old son on the head, before he ran out the door. "And nothing like Gerome. Ah, no matter."

"I'm so sorry he left."

"Well, it has been a long month without a man in the house, but I will get used to it eventually." She smiled up at him. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all," he said, and pushed her wheelchair up to the table.

They bent over contracts and business for the next hour, and both of them failed to notice that Chelsea's head bent around the doorway every few minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

"Well, that was about as successful as we could be," Lydia said, wheeling around to the other side of the table. Sam looked down at her with a smile.

"Yep," he replied, and saw Chelsea peek around the corner. "Hey," he said humorously, and followed her out the door. "What are you looking at?" he said, mockingly putting his hands on his hips and raising his eyebrow.

"You," Gina said, and clapped her hands over her mouth. She looked at Chelsea and giggled again. Sam continued to keep his eyebrow raised.

"Aren't you a little young to be looking at me, Chel?" he said with laughter in his voice. _Please tell me they're kidding..._

"I'm not that young," Chelsea replied softly. She looked up at him sadly. _Oh, my,_ Sam thought. _They weren't kidding._

"Here," he said slowly. He took Chelsea's hand and helped her to stand. "Come with me. Can you excuse us for a moment, Gina?" And before Gina could reply he was leading Chelsea around to the backyard. She was looking at him sadly, and the lightness in her step wasn't showing.

"I really like you," Chelsea said matter-of-factly. "I have for a while. I can't help it!"

"So, it's not just an 'I think that boy is cute' kinda thing?"

"Nope. I wish it was, but I really like you. More than I've liked anyone before." She leaned towards him, and he started to protest, but she began to kiss him, bringing his head down with her hands. He couldn't resist. The things that had been going on in his life just came out in one kiss. One kiss with someone who wanted him, desperately. He had never felt such longing in anyone before, and he continued to kiss her. They both pulled back at the same time, and she looked up at him with glassy eyes.

"Chel-" he started, but she put her hand over his mouth.

"Don't. Just don't say anything. You'll ruin the moment." And with that, she took her hand away and kissed him again, and his reaction was the same as last time. _Maybe I could be with her,_ he thought as he kissed her neck, and then came up back to her mouth. _We seem to be pretty good together. _But the fleeting thought of Alyssa kept creeping back into his mind. _We can't be together,_ he thought to himself firmly. _I've got to make the best of the situation. _So he continued to kiss her.

When they walked back around the house, Gina was talking to Lydia. Chelsea held Sam's hand and was bubbling with excitement. She kissed him on the cheek, and with a quick "See you later, sweetie" she disappeared into the house with Gina. Seconds later he heard a scream of excitement come from inside the house.

"What's going on?" Lydia said with a laugh as she wheeled over toward Sam.

"Well," he said, awkwardly scratching his head, "I'm sort of 'with' Chelsea, if that's ok with you."

"Oh, Sam," Lydia said with her eyes shining just the way Chelsea's did, "She's liked you for so long! I'm so happy for both of you." She reached up and gave Sam a hug. It was a good reaction, he decided, because she could have been angry.

"Yeah, I'm happy, too." _But are you really?_


	4. Chapter 4

"Just a minute," Sam yelled as he heard the knock on his door. He shaved the last bit of stubble from his chin and ran towards the door, wiping his face with a towel. He opened the door to see Chelsea's smiling face.

"Hey, Sam," she said sweetly, and kissed him on the cheek.

"Hey, Chel. You're early," he replied. "Come on in."

It was the day after the confrontation at her house, and Sam was getting the feeling that the relationship was moving too fast, but he was to embarrassed to say it to her. She wanted them to spend the day together, to help them get to know each other better. He had agreed, not happily, but agreed nonetheless. Of course, he showed wholehearted agreement to Chelsea. _Why do I have to be so goddamn nice?_ He smiled at her and gestured her into the sitting room.

"Oh, I'd forgotten what a wonderful view this was!" she gasped and walked over to the large windows overlooking the ocean. The surf was quiet and low, and the morning sunshine was reflecting off of the gentle waves that were lapping at the shore. She stepped outside and took a breath of the crisp ocean air. He followed her, smiling. _This could be good for both of us,_ he thought as she walked over to him. She nestled inside his arm and they watched the sunset together. He kissed her a few times, all of them holding the intense passion and want in them as the day before. He found that Alyssa was beginning to drift out of his mind.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

"Hey, Josh," Alyssa said happily as she picked up the phone. "Oh," she said, her face sinking,"Hi Grandma. No, no, I'm just expecting a call." She sighed. "Yeah, here she is. Mom!"

"Coming, honey."

Alyssa set the phone on the counter and walked out into her backyard. _A ride will calm me down,_ she thought to herself. She walked her bike out of the shed in her backyard and happened to glance over into her neighbor, David Dokos' yard. He was a rich and proud man, and not particularly well-liked. He was currently battling Sam's dog Guster for his morning paper. Alyssa laughed, and looked over to the other side, towards Sam's yard. Her smile was erased from her face as she saw Sam, looking as handsome as ever with his hands around a girl with beautiful, silky, auburn hair who was leaning back against him. She felt her heart sink, and then a sly smile krept across her face. _What can it hurt besides his relationship? It doesn't mean anything, does it? He loves only me, right?_

"Hey, Sam!" she yelled, dropping her bike and running towards his porch.

Sam heard her call, and steeled himself against Chelsea.

"Sam what's wrong? It's just Alyssa," Chelsea said with concern. She didn't know that they had been together two years ago, and he didn't intend for her to find out. "C'mon, let's go say hi!" She pulled out of Sam's grasp and climbed over the railing. "Hey Alyssa!"

Alyssa stopped in her tracks. _Chelsea?_ She thought angrily. _He's with Chelsea?_ Alyssa liked Chelsea, but Sam was hers! It had been obvious to her from the beginning that Chel was smitten with Sam, but it wasn't the kind of feeling that was meant to be a relationship, was it? Could she ruin this relationship between two people that she cared so deeply for? _Alyssa, stop being so nice. Just get it over and done with._

"Hey, Chel! How've you been?"

"Ah, not too bad, not too bad. I'm with Sam now. Isn't that great?" Sam walked up beside Chelsea, and she put her arm around his waist, smiling at Alyssa all the while. Alyssa kept the smile on her face as real as she could.

"Lovely. Hey Sam. How are you?" Sam looked at her with an almost apologetic look and shrugged.

"Eh, alright I guess. You?"

"I've been better," she said with a sigh, still trying to keep the smile on her face.

"Alyssa!" her mom called. "Josh is here! I'll send him out."

"That's ok. I'll come," Alyssa started, but it was too late. Josh was trudging towards them, also with a very fake smile plastered to his pale face. The only difference was that he was making no move whatsoever to hide it.


	5. Chapter 5

Josh was not particularly thrilled at the fact that Alyssa was with Sam, but he could deal, especially since Sam seemed to be pretty occupied with a lovely, small, silky haired individual. He knew all about the breif relationship that went on between Alyssa and Sam, and he honestly couln't blame her on that note. But, he also was thrilled when they had broken up. Seeing them together still made him want to tear his hair out and bellow.

"Hello, there Sam," he said cooly. "And hello to you," he said as he turned to Alyssa. He leaned down and kissed her, as if to show Sam that this was his property, and he was to go nowhere near it.

"Nice to see you too, Josh," Sam replied sarcastically. He watched with pure disgust as Josh clearly marked Alyssa as his own. Alyssa was suprised, but not angered at his behavior. _At least he's not beating Sam up,_ she thought as he drew back. She smiled up at Josh with a quizzical look on her face. She laughed.

"What was that for?" Josh just smiled at her. "Ready to go?" she said to him.

"Yup. The jeep's in the front," Josh said. "Bye guys. Nice to meet you... er-"

"Chelsea," she cut in. "My name is Chelsea."

"Nice to meet you, Chelsea," Josh replied, and walked away with his arm around Alyssa's waist. When he saw that neither girl was looking, he flicked Sam off. Sam winced. He was sick of fighting with Josh. Josh was one of those guys who thought the world should revolve around him and that he was God's gift to the human race. He had, after all, shagged his girlfriend's mom.

"He seems really sweet," Chelsea said after picking a piece of lint off Sam's shirt. "They're such a cute couple." Sam just grunted quietly and leaned down and kissed her.

"I don't really like him. It's nothing personal, I just don't."

"I understand. It's just like that for some people. C'mon, let's get going."

"Yeah, ok," He then grabbed her, lifted her over his shoulder and began to run towards the house. She was laughing, and her soft hair was streaming behind her and glistening in the morning sunlight. The undersides of her breasts were pressed against his shoulder, and he had hisarm tightly around around her waist. His laughing stopped abruptly and his breathing thickened. He wanted her, badly. And she knew it. She felt his step quicken and his grip tighten.

"Sam," she whispered, and she knew that she wanted him just as much he wanted her.

They got up onto the porch and the late summer morning breeze watched over them. She struggled and slipped out of his grip and tugged on his hand. Somehow, through spurts of kissing, they ended up in Sam's bedroom.

"Chel," he said, his breathing still heavy as she began to pull at the buttons on his shirt. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes."

She peeled his shirt off of him and ran her hands over his chest. He was wondering why he was having this intense reaction to her. He thought the only one who he could feel this for was Alyssa, but apparently not. Not that they had ever gone all the way. Chelsea seemed inexperienced in sex, and he hoped that he would be able to help her as their relationshiop grew.

Somehow they managed to get all their clothes off before falling into a heap on the bed. _Maybe Alyssa's not the only one, _Sam thought. _Maybe this is love..._


	6. Chapter 6

Alyssa looked longingy behind her as Sam and Chelsea ran towards the house. But that didn't last for long, because Josh tugged on her arm and she was whipped back around.

"What were you doing with him?" Josh said cooly. He squeezed her hand a little, as if to say 'I'm not mad, I just want to know.' But she could tell that he was lying. He was walking harder and faster than usual, and that was a dead gieaway if his anger.

"I wanted to meet his new girlfriend," shs said sweetly. He wouldn't doubt her innocence. No one did. And for once, Alyssa was right. Josh smiled back down at her. _How could I ever have doubted her?_ he thought to himself. _I don't love her, but she is sweet. She's also great for my image._ He had a smirk on his face. He knew he was smart in his decision to date her. It really helped to date an attractive girl. Alyssa just smiled sweetly up at him, and never suspected what was running through his head.

"I'm sorry if it sounded like I was accusing you. I'm jus a little jealous of other guys hanging around with you. You're so..." he drifted off, and smiled wearily at her. _Oh.._ Alyssa thought. _I never really meant to hurt him, did I?_ He continued to stare at her as they walked down the street, waiting for a response. When she just smiled up at him, he put his arm around her and she nestled in close. _Life is good,_ he thought. _Life is good._

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

Sam woke up with a start. He looked over at the clock, and it had 3:08pm flashing in it's bright red numerals. He then noticed a small, warm, beautiful body pressed against the length of his. He closed his eyes, and tried to stifle the groan building in his throat. He failed, horribly. The sound of his groan brought Chelsea from her light sleep.

"Morning, Sleepy," he said softly in her ear, before kissing the side of her neck. "God, you're beautiful."

"I have to say," she said sleepily, "I was thinking sonething of the same nature about you." He smiled a her, and with a bit of her encouragement found himself on top of her again. They tickled, and kissed and purely enjoyed themselves for a while longer. Then Chelsea looked over at the clock.

"Oh, Chel..." Sam groaned.

"Oh, Sam, I have to go!" she said quickly.

"What?" he said, and looked at the clock. 3:57. "I'll miss you," he said quietly to her as she began to get dressed.

"I'll miss you, too," she said, and after getting fully dressed, she came and sat down next to him for a moment. "And I think I love you." Sam was startled, but strangely pleased. He pulled her down next to im for another moment, and took her in his arms.

"I love you, too," he whispered. She lifted her head and a brilliant grin was on her sweet face. He kissed her one last time, and they heard a car pull up.

"That'd be Gina. Bye." She pecked him on the cheek, ran to the door, gave him another brilliant smile, and ran out to blab the entire day to her friend. And for once he didn't care. He just sat on his bed with a smile on his face, and realized that his life was beginning to pull together. 


	7. Chapter 7

"I never would have thought,"a large boy said, circling arounda smaller boy who was standing defiantly, "that a wimp like you could be a super. A wimp like _you_? It's just to much!" The larger boy began to laugh, and the students who had now crowded around the circle began to laugh with him.

"What are you talking about, Huey? I'm not a super. I'd love to be, but I'm just not!" the smaller boy protested. He didn't seem to be scared at all, even though the larger boy must have been three times his size. "What would give you that idea, anyway?" he said, uncomfortably.

"Him," the larger boy, Huey, said. He pointed towards a slim but tall boy with a striped baseball cap on, and when he saw he was being pointed at by Huey, the Long Known Bully of the Playground, the bubble he was blowing popped all over his face. He climbed on the bicycle he had next to him and sped away. The small "super" boy gawked. _It's that kid! The kid in the driveway that Dad told me about! _he thought. But he kept his mouth shut.

"I've never seen him before," he said, truthfully, and turned to walk away. He was abruptly cut off by Huey again. "Let me through, Huey."

"Hmm, I don't think so," replied Huey. "But Ihear that your family calls you Jack-Jack. Is that true, Jackey-boy?" Huey stared at him with an air of someone very superior. Jack-Jack rolled his eyes, and began to shrink. Huey began to say "What?" but it came out a bit like "Whaaaaaaah." By this time, Jack-Jack had shrunk to the size of a small dog, and quickly turned into one. His bloodred coat and spiked collar frightened Huey enough that he began to run away, and the rest of the playground children followed him. Jack-Jack chuckled in a dog-like way, and returned to his normal form.

He pushed his sandy-brown hair behind his ears and walked back towards the school just as the bell for the end of recess rang. He was smiling to himself. _I sure showed him,_ Jack-Jack thought. And they were all kids. None of the adults would believe it if they said anything. He doubted that they would anyway.


End file.
